trailers and pity

The other day I saw a movie trailer, it was one of those rags to riches, freedom writers, Sandra Bullock, tear jerking kinds of trailers...and if the trailer is that way imagine the movie. In one point the "high risk youth" brought in by Sandra says while looking at his new room, "I've never had one of these." She responds, "What? A room to yourself?" and he says,"no, a bed." In that moment people think, wow, I'm so lucky(blessed, fortunate...take your pick of words here). The problem I had in that moment was, I know that kid. I've played ball with him, talked with him, hugged her, she taught me to dance, he bonded with me over laffy taffy and we played so many games of dodgeball I can't even count. Their names are Reggie, Willie, Quataysha, Quadre, SharVonte, Michael, Roneesha, Djevante, Isaiah and Iverson...the list could go on for pages. The Lord teaches me through them and my heart breaks deeply for each one. I'm not willing to see the sadness in their eyes anymore, but I'm not willing to deny it. I'm past asking why and am to the point where I wonder if know why would even help. I don't think it would. But rather than asking why, let's do something. Let's be so deeply invested in their lives that we know why for each individual circumstance and love these incredible youth in the singular...in the here and now as if they were the only one's in the room. Don't feel sad or sorry or hopeless for these youth...they don't need that. They need you.

Fresh as Fall

I knew it the day the pumpkin spice latte arrived at Starbucks...fall is coming and there is no escaping it. With a new season comes a fresh change of pace, I love it. The leaves turn, sweatshirts make their appearance, hot drinks are refreshing again and life seems to calm down...kind of.
Change is beautiful and college is full of it. It's organic and good and what we are made for. Being at this place in school and life in general is odd to participate in and step back to watch. Watching people change, see the surroundings change, people wishing for something new and exciting while longing for stability all the same and most interestingly realizing your own desires changing. What do we do with that? I don't like it. I like it. I hope for it. I resist it. I stare it in the face. I close my eyes and hope it doesn't see me. Then I realize change is what makes me more of the woman God created me to be. I change. God doesn't. That's how it works and I'm not sure why I always seem to assume that everyone else can change but me. False. and wonderful...I'm learning to love the transition stage. Besides, if you can't beat 'em(which I can't, I tried) join 'em!
What do I do this summer? youthoworks? Summer project? home? internship? the possibilities are endless!
What do I do with my life? Portland? Youth ministry? Youthworks? Social services? lunch lady? The possibilities are endless!
As I process not only these two questions but so much more which I'm sure you will hear about soon...I think of a Donald Miller quote that I love and is my prayer for both of us---
"My prayer is that your story will involve some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter, some roses blooming out like children in play. My hope is that your story will be about change, about getting something beautiful born inside yourself."

it's the little things

I've had several interesting conversations these days with several interesting people. Many of which have had something to do with authenticity and our natural response to struggles. Now, if you have been in the Christian world for a week or if you have ever raised your eyebrow at a televangelist or self-help book clothed in a Christian cover, you know the two most obnoxious phrases around. "Let go and let God" and "If God will put you to it, He will put you through it." I am not suggesting these phrases are flat out lies but I am posing an opposition to them.

Beef number 1) These bumper sticker phrases imply that as soon as you surrender said struggle to the Lord everything will be easier and it will be solved like a sitcom(in 30 min or less with minimal long-term damage). Or if it isn't easier and/or solved right away then something is wrong with you. False. It is true that we are called to surrender all and that God only puts you through things he knows you can handle. However, what I can handle on an earthly realm is much much less than if I am walking with God and ps- God knows that. He knows that in struggles I will reach the end of myself very quickly and have no choice but to rest on Him and I'm pretty sure that's exactly what he desires. I'm not saying God purposely causes us to go through things so we suffer on our own, but I am saying if we are resting on God, there is nothing we can't bear because we aren't called to bear one thing. If I cast all my burdens on Him because he cares for me, then the load I can carry just increased in volume because God can carry the weight of the world(plus some).

Beef number 2) If a person says one of these phrases to you, chances are the comment you made to warrant such a response was something along the lines of "I'm struggling." Now, how often do you hear an authentic answer such as that when you ask how people they are doing? Either you asked the question in such a way that the answerer knew you meant it or the answerer just took huge leap we don't always see in everyday conversation and that is...authenticity. These phrases are not what people need to hear when they are struggling. Why? Because now they feel isolated. It sounds like such a simple fix and pain free and positive. Sometimes we come out of struggles much stronger and sometimes we come out just the same with maybe a few scars...and that's okay. I think rather than offering a quick fix answer because we don't know what else to say, we respond with authenticity. Respond how you would hope someone would respond to you even if it doesn't seem like it helps. It just helps to see a genuine interaction more than perfect advice.

I hope and pray that as a community of believers we challenge ourselves to be authentic at all times and with all people. I think people would feel like they had life-giving relationships if we learned the art of authenticity, especially in the midst of struggles.

P.S. I don't intend this to be an all out rant but more of a means of processing.

I caved

I have been debating back and forth, taking polls, asking questions and I've come to one conclusion...it is imperative that I begin to blog. :) So here I am...my thoughts are here and there and my life tends to be here and there but I'm excited to share a little here and a little there with you.